Ninja Terminator (1985)
Reviewed by Morgoth Bauglir
November 27, 2010
I have seen way too many Joseph Lai/Godfrey Ho cut and splice style ninja movies, and most are completely unwatchable. About 1 out of every 10 have something decent in it. Ninja Terminator is one of those in the minority. It is laugh out loud funny, but for the most part I don’t think it was supposed to be. The script seems to be written by a 5 year old. It doesn’t help that this is 3 movies spliced together, and it doesn’t make any sense. But if you love bad movies, you can’t pass up this masterpiece of horrible cinema. In one scene, the villain uses a plastic toy robot to send a message to Richard Harrison. The toy robot arrives with smoke and can talk. Godfrey Ho really wanted to show off his $5 budget.
HILARIOUS. I don’t want to give anything away, but trust me you will be laughing your butt off the entire movie. And the English dub is full of classic lines.
“I don’t usually smoke this brand, but I’ll do it for you.”
“Ninja are supreme, and you have double crossed it, why did you do that?”
“Our techniques are dominant and unbeatable. Our style is unique and hypnotically elegant.”
If you are a fan of kick fighting movies, you will get be very happy with this. Jack Lam (named Jaguar Wong in the movie) and Hwang Jang Lee give great kicking displays. Hwang only participates in the final fight, but Jack Lam gets to show off his kicking skills throughout the entire movie.
There’s also the ninja scenes, and the action is decent. But they are great scenes because of how funny they are.
The Jaguar Wong scenes also have plenty of humor, both intentional and unintentional. During the final fight Jaguar Wong headbutts Hwang’s knees a couple times. I don’t know if this would work very well in a real fight, but if Jaguar Wong does it, then it must be a good technique.
Jack Lam. His Jaguar Wong character is one of the best characters in movie history. His fighting skills, confidence and coolness are unmatched.
It should be noted that my ratings reflect how much I enjoyed the movie. I’ve seen Ninja Terminator countless times and I never get tired of it.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Great review Morgoth. I just got to see this movie, and everything you said is true. Notably that Jack Lam was pretty outstanding!
I hated Richard Harrison’s camoflauge ninja suit – it looked like a bad marriage of Gumby and one of the “Attack of the Gian Leaches” leaches. I’m glad you pointed out that it was a couple of movie’s put together, because that is the impression I got when I watched it.
Thanks Morgoth.
This was a great review Morgoth, had me cracking up for sure. Good job my friend. I look forward to your next.