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SMK

Loved Ones Lost

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On all my social media accounts, I never post anything regarding my personal life, as I like to keep things focused on the promotion of the martial arts film genre and the 36 Styles brand as well as show support for Kung Fu Bob's artwork. But after what I experienced this week, I feel it may help a bit with me coping with things if I share this with those willing to listen.

This past Sunday we had to put my dog to sleep of which we had since 2006, he was 100% Shih Tzu, we got him at 8 weeks old. His name was Chewy. I loved him more than words could express. Earlier this year he started getting a growth in the top part of his mouth, we thought it was possibly a tooth infection. He had surgery, and they removed it and 4 of his teeth. He looked better. After the biopsy results came back, they told us it was malignant, and without treatment, he probably had about 5 months. We felt he was too old for treatment and did not want to put him through that and possibly have part of his mouth removed, and nor could we afford it. 2 months after the surgery, the growth began to come back. It was bleeding, smelled bad and was an obvious discomfort to him, making it hard to eat. The doctor told us the infection would soon spread to his lungs and he would have a hard time breathing, which is exactly what happened only 3 months after his surgery. So Sunday after a few instances of him crying out in his sleep, we made the decision to take him in. The pain I have felt since then is almost unbearable, if not for my 10-year-old son, I feel things would be much worse. I am not ashamed or embarrassed to admit this, but I have been crying more in the last few days than I ever have in my whole life.

24 hours after putting Chewy to sleep, my dad passed away. He was a Vietnam Veteran, he lost one his legs a couple of years ago due to diabetes, and was currently at a Veteran's rest home. He stopped breathing Monday night and had a DNR signed, so they did not attempt to bring him back. The loss of my dad actually came as quite a shock even though he was not doing too good. This is a long story, but we almost lost him several times over the years and he always managed to pull through. I honestly thought he would be around for a lot longer. I am doing my best to help my mom through this as best I can. One of the many great memories I have of my dad is when he, my daughter and I would get together and watch a 20th Century Fox Sammo Hung film each night. Magnificent Butcher, The Iron-Fisted Monk, Eastern Condors, Knockabout, Spooky Encounters, Warriors Two, etc. We all enjoyed Sammo films very much. My father and I also use to watch various kung fu movies together, lots of Shaw Brothers of course, and some of the independent classics. I will miss him dearly.

Those of you that have lost a loved one, know the pain that comes from this. I am trying my best to stay strong and not appear down in front of my son. I actually have been working hard on the new site as it's been a great distraction for me, even though when a random thought forms in my mind of either Chewy or my dad, I tear up instantly. Now more than ever I NEED to have the new site be a success, as my dad was always supportive of me when I started the brand 36 Styles and actually helped me quite a bit in the early years. I will dedicate that site to him. 

I would appreciate any and all support of this site and the new site when it launches in any way possible. 

To all those who have experienced such pain or going through the same thing now, I will pray for comfort for you and hope that each day gets easier as time goes on. 

Thank you for listening.

Raymond (SMK)

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Thank you for sharing Raymond. Don't be afraid to let your son know you are hurting, he is too. Talk to him let him you are there if he wants to talk about how he is feeling. It's hard and the moment, I know but it will get better. They are both in a better place, I really do believe that. 

Love & Thoughts.

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Deeply sorry for your losses Raymond, let your son know how you feel and it could help you both heal in time. Likewise with your mum, do what you can to be there for here while these days are hard and they may get easier to handle sooner.

Appreciate you sharing that here, it can't have been easy. If you need anything at all don't be afraid to reach out, we're all here for you.

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I am so very sorry for your losses. There is no greater, deeper pain than the death of a loved one, human or furry. But they never leave us completely, a part of the pain will change into loving memories, and bring a smile on your face instead of tears. But it does take time. I hope the pain becomes more bearable soon, and that you can spend lots of time with your family now, it will help you all. Thanks for entrusting your feelings with us. Sending hugs over the Atlantic. 

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I'm so sorry for what happens to you and I understand how you feel so much, since I lost three family members last year (two during Christmas Holidays). As you say, each time I think of them, I tear up too, even after one year and after having returned slowly to the forum and I share your sadness with all my heart.

I hope that your children, your mother and the new and old forums will help you to put your pain away as soon as possible, even if it's obvious that it doesn't mean forgetting your beloved.

And don't be ashamed to say that you cried when your dog passed away, when I lost mine, years ago, I was so sad too ! And what happened to him is exactly what happened to my Godmother last Christmas and she died in two months and a half...

 

I'm sorry, this message isn't exactly a comforting message, but be sure that I'll pray for you to be relieved from your pain soon.

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As I told you brother, I'm always here for you to try to help you through this pain. Whether it be to listen and discuss how you're feeling, or simply to be a silly ass to distract you and give you some temporary respite from your sorrow. I'm so happy you have such a loving family surrounding you so that you are not alone in this. Chewy couldn't have hoped for a better best friend than you, and I'm 100% certain your father was extremely proud to have such a kind, thoughtful, loving, intelligent son in you. I got you, man.  - your brother forever

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First, thank you for sharing and for your work, this community is a very pleasent place to be. Your loved ones can be proud, you achieved something great, many of us can’t say the same.

Mourning is a process and in the end it makes you another stronger man, rooting on the lost ones’s souls, who, by essence, will never die.

Hang on and thanks for the good work.

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My condolences to you and your family, @SMK. Do not be ashamed to grieve and give yourself opportunity to do so whenever those moments come. 

I have no doubt your new site will do well. 

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My heart goes out to you and your family @SMK - The loss of ones parent is brutal, even more so coming off the loss of a beloved pet which I'm sure you were already reeling from.

I lost my mother to Cancer in April of this year, and its left a black hole in the family that we're all still struggling with, words always seem so feeble, but sending you lots of light and love.

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I'm very sorry to hear of your losses. My dad passed away a few years ago, so I know exactly what you are going through. Just stay strong @SMK, and( I don't know if you are a religious fellow) believe that your dad and pup are in a better place, looking proudly down upon you and the family you have created. 

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Sorry to hear what you are going through @SMK. Sending you positive thoughts in this tough time.

Thank you so much for this site, and how you kept the kung fu cinema/fandom alive. I'm sure your new site will be a great success!

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Sorry Ray to hear about these sad news. After the tears have dried and the goodbyes have been said, all we have to hold onto in life are the happy memories that we have shared with our loved ones who have passed. This is what keeps them alive in our hearts and minds and they continue to live on through us. Your Dad will continue to live through you. My condolences.

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Very sorry to hear of your loss Raymond. 

A very similar thing happened to my cat, growth on her face. Had to put her down last year. She was with me from a kitten from around the same time (2005). Always thought she must of been one of the sweatest beings alive. First time I cried in years. 

Amazing that your love for kung fu flicks all stems from your father.

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My deepest condolences to you and your family for recent your losses.

You know that I lost my father back in May and like your father, he was a Vietnam Veteran and he suffered from diabetes and other maladies as well, due in part to Agent Orange exposure.

I'm not going to lie to you, I am still struggling every day trying to cope with my father's passing but having the support of my mom, my brother and other close friends has helped considerably. I know that processing grief and living with the pain takes time but I wish you comfort and wellness on this most difficult journey...

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I'm glad that you were comfortable enough to share this. Sometimes bottling up your emotions can just make things worse. I know that for me personally, when I'm feeling down, talking to people I trust (friends, family) helps tremendously. It's good that you're talking about it and I'm glad that it seems you're looking ahead to better things and future projects.

I can only imagine how hard this is for you. I haven't gone through quite anything like this before, but I wish you all the best. You are an extremely kind person, and you've shown me (and many others) so much generosity over the years. And if you need anything at all, don't be afraid to ask for help. I'm always willing to help, and there are so many others that I'm sure are willing to help you through this as well.

Please take care. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

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My condolences to you and your family Ray, I am so sorry for your losses.

I feel you going through that pain, and I hope you and your family will be able to use the support of each other. I also lost loved family members and friends over the years and the support of my wife, my friends and other family members have been a tremendous help although as I am writing you now, I can feel tears overwhelming me just by thinking of them again... So I feel you brother.

As I have been reading all the message this community has posted, I can only say that I too know you are a very kind person and there is only love out there for you brother. This whole community that you have been helping and loving over the years feels for you. It saddens me to see you are hurting, so I hope you will receive my soul healings meditation vibes and hopefully it might help a tiny bit.

Always remember and keep the good memories of your loved ones. They will always continue to exist as long as you remember them.... at least that's how I cope with the loved ones I lost.

Love you brother, please dont hesitate to ask if you need anything.

 

 

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